(Wednesday, May 07, 2008)
they say the past makes you the man you are today. you're absolutely correct, if you're a women, the past doesn't mean ape shit.
yet, strangely when you chose not to relive, or better yet, remember a few malicious moments of your colourful life, the past just have a way of delivering an entropy to render the painful scenario indelible. retrospectively, the damn individuals acting as accomplice to hurtfully bring back the baneful time came with a notion of reverence such as information of births and more feared, conjugality.
i do hate weddings. not because i have anything against them. i do have something against them, small issues, though. if it floats your boat to marry the person that you want to spend an eternity with, by all means, do it! i am sincerely happy for that. the duration of my happiness is usually short-lived when an self righteous marriage loving idiot mar my mere existence by chanting lines, sharper than any spear ever made like 'when is it your turn to get married?'. oh fuck off you lowlife, i don't wanna. what you gonna do, drag to me Vegas and marry me to an eligible transvestite?
when i thought i have eloquently generate a constant void of presence both physically and spiritually (stringently had been absent of such circumstances) but like a scar, the past has always been there, it didn't even need catching up. fault lies within myself for forgetting it's there. once in a while the scar itches, a gentle reminder of it's grotesque presence. it is highly debatable whether my ever lack of presence method is working.
i would truly like to be left alone, if anyone understands at all...
9:35 PM
that fucking traitor
liEw, 18 and since 2002, 270lbs, 5ft, brazilian chinese russian icelander hybrid, black eyes, short black hair, racist, antisocial, semi-alcoholic, ignorant, exhales profanity, black-poetry fanatic
