continuation.
(Tuesday, May 31, 2005)i made a new layout. everything is not in perfect order yet. bear with me. these few weeks would be all renovation with indonesians passing by any minute. so, please, do not go about this blog wearing your skimpy clothes. i will not be responsible for any unwanted incidents.
after the draft and initial stage of the layout, i requested for feedbacks, i wasn't sure how everyone thinks. so here are the initial feedback i got so far: (in no particular order)
eleanor: i like the old layout better, it's got more things. or was it links, i can't remember.
lynnzter: woo hoo, new layout!
kim: simple and nice!
2pm joyce: I LIKE, can you change the font into something else? you using times new roman ar?
ben: the girl look ugly. distorted. (made changes after that)
sheblabs lynn: i think it'll look better with more colour (i'm not a very colourful person, so...)
everybody's comment will be taken into account. i shall try to keep this layout till next year.
***
i admit that i ran out of ideas halfway through the last blog. i'm sorry, all my thougts went for vacation in bali and ibiza and it just went empty, nil.
3. photographer
photography is always very deep and abstract subject. it works in a parallel line with feelings and emotions. so there isn't really a good photo or a bad one. however, when it comes to photography, the boundary doesn't stop only at fine art, but rather a SWIMSUIT SPORTS ILLUSTRATED ANNUAL EDITION photographer. all day long, you deal with special people like marisa miller, gisele bunchen, heidi klum, etc. which might also earn you a ticket for THE FASHION SHOW of the year, the VICTORIA'S SECRET FASHION SHOW. you hit 1 bird with 2 stones, you love your job, you work closely to models. name me a better job.
2. lecturer
this is the best job ever. imagine, your stupid students will have to love you no matter what you do to them. torment them with lies, make them feel that their existance is worthless, assult them with god-knows-how-to-answer tests and still, they'll have to speak softly to you. the salary is just a bonus from watching their anguish for a few months, then another new bunch comes along to eridicate the previous bunch. brand new feeling, brand new torment. lecturer is actually a masquerade, a more refined version of the hooded lass in the torture chamber.
1. garderner @ playboy mansion
do i even need to elaborate?
what do you wanna be when you grow up?
(Saturday, May 28, 2005)there was a time in my childhood where my teacher would give us an oral test. no, no, not to see how good we are in cunnilingus, or blowjobs in that sense but oral as in conversation. the big question of the day is always:
what do you wanna be when you grow up? and why?
ah...those were the good old days. there we were, young and scared shitless, still chained down by an accountable amount of naiveness and innocence. the answers are normally the same, policeman, firemen, teacher, doctor, singer, actor, and etc. typical and real. i absofuckinglutely have no idea how can the teacher stand the same provokative answers over and over again. at least mine didn't strangle me half-way through or start slashing me classmates with a samurai sword. that would have gave me a trauma, i tell you.
years go by, we're still surrounded by this very same fucking question. we live our life in a pattern that would never differ. here i am, a couple of years after someone last asked me what i want to do with my insignificant life, wanting to asnwer the question myself out of boredom.
top 5 jobs that i'd die for.
5. Jedi/Sith Lord
you get to pilot around the galaxy, shooting them bad people, be it the people from light side of the force or dark side of the force. c'mon, how else can you make your pathetic life more interesting? oh yeah, i forgot, you get to use your light saber and swing it about at anything. it cuts through everything. how fucking cool. not to mention you get to make friends with a Jedi pundit like Yoda. 'mmmph, slash me with lightsaber with fury the kid want to...mmmmph...fear leads to anger and anger leads to the dark side...mmmmph'
4. Porn
i'm afraid of STDs so i'd rather be the director instead. hey, look at me, it's the same thing ok! the director can have a test run on all the porn stars before he cast them. then you can go around telling everybody you slept with so many porn stars, you can't remember who's who. money money money and girls.
3. Photographer
who pays you to walk around and shoot people? and it pays even more when people appriciate your work. to be continued...
the great depression.
(Thursday, May 26, 2005)oh shit
nobody ever told me alcohol is VERY addictive. they said it gets you somewhere but nobody said addiction about addictive. mr. smartie ass forgot smart mouth that, how ironic
less than a week i haven't been drinking and i'm restless, suffering from mild depression and my chest hurts plus i can't breath properly. i need to concentrate on breathing. perhaps the constant farting and my lost of appetite and a sign that alcohol free substitude for weekend is a silently assassinating cheerfulness and simplicity.
oh fuck. zoe's not here this weekend, it's gonna be another rough week for me. i need to find something alternative addictive substance. otherwise, i would possibly need prozac next month. let's just hope it gets me high too.
p/s - i'm not an alcoholic.
checking out.
()feeling like i'm not awake yet but i'm going to penang in 10 minutes.
checking in all mp3s into my pod. the only time i REALLY get to listen to anything now is when i'm travelling. today, i will really appreciate every single details of my mp3 tracks. more like songs leeched from kim.
if everything goes as planned, i'll be back before 9 and i'm gonna have fun and eat lotsa good food. theoritically. but it never happens. it's gonna be one long murderous trip with bad company.
mp3 - check!
my ride is here. i'ma going with my new porsche. life's not very fair. i wanna stay at home today.
cheerio. milk is good. drink more milk.
catching a book?
(Tuesday, May 24, 2005)yippedidooooo.
if that doesn't sound stupid enough, try this, it took me 1 month to finish catch-22. YES, IT'S DONE AND OVER WITH at last, i'm so fucking proud of myself. is that an indication that i go out and tapau bottle of whiskey to celebrate? now that it's done, my fingers can't stop drumming the table, toes wriggle uncontrollably, tap tap tap, wriggle wriggle wriggle, tap tap tap...i need an alternative way to spend my time. something more time consuming.
i figured that many have no idea what catch-22 is...you have to go and buy it. i didn't know it existed till kim said, 'buy this, it's good shite!'. bloody thankful that it wasn't some girlie girl book. as the matter of fact, it's the ONLY book that's better than da vinci code. of course, there's also american gods which is way over the top, neverwhere, the book so good, you just can't put it and da vinci code in the same sentence. like you can't put bak kut teh and nasi kandar in the same sentence. my point is, it's different. la di la do re mi.
a simple message: get the fuck off.
(Sunday, May 22, 2005)introducing the new LIMP BIZKIT album - the unquestionable truth.
here's to fred durst and all limp bizkit band members. fuck off the music industry if you can't do your shite. the vocal, the guitar work, the song, every single thing in limp bizkit's new single, the truth, is like a good old Rage Against the Machine track. for fuck sake, even the MTV carries a significant degree of similarity to RATM's MTV. NO, even the album cover looks like a typical RATM album.
it was seeing RATM living in another band's body. limp bizkit put themselves in a wrong territory. it's blasphemy. i would brand it as music terrorism, breach of music copyright soverignty! where the fuck is George Bush? where the fuck is Monica Lewinsky? muthafucking fred even tried wearing the same shite that Zack de la Rocha used to wear. this is just the kind of lucany i can't accept.
[from mtv.com]
Durst told MTV News that Rage Against the Machine were a source of inspiration for the record. "Emotionally, I was affected a lot by [Rage]," he said. "Not specifically the literal intention of the words or what it was about, but the feel, the sound, those phrases that got me. I believe this [album] is exactly where they left off."
Read full article here
[/from mtv.com]
the whole fucking state that he gave on MTV.com is just bending the truth, fuck the unquestionable truth, fuck keepin' it real, fuck the album, since i'm at it, fuck fred durst again, up the ass this time mind you, oh i forgot, fuck your red shoes. rage against the machine never wore branded good you fucking asswipe. fucking tattoo junkie cum self-proclaimed musician must have been out of his fucking mind. if he ain't smoking so much weed or snorting so much coke, probably he know that you can't fucking copy somebody's work. RATM is a fucking legend and now, limp bizkit is just another WANNABE pussy band. worthless cocksucking sonnawabitch. THERE'S ONLY 1 RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE, 1 ZACK DE LA ROCHA, 1 TOM MORELLO. i have serious questions about the unquestionable truth because it's deceitful. fred durst ought to be put on death row.
i, as a true Rage of the Machine fan will boycott all limp bizkit songs and album until an official statement of apology to RATM is made. i will also send hate mails to fred and britney spears. yes, i do take this acrimony rather personally.
now the real niggas gonna be the ones with money and bitches, the pussys are gonna be the niggas on the floor bleedin' - 2pac
stalk my head
()when i'm out for 20 hours straight, i'd call it a record. if you've done more than that, congratulations. you got life.
when i was finally home, i could scarcely walk straight or engage in a proper conversation without calling anyone a whore and a fuckhead. mom thought i was going out of my mind. tried but i'm fatigued and drained down to the bottom.
as fucked as i am, i did get a mere 6 lousy hours of sleep. slept like i never sleep before. of fucking course i never sleep before. for a cuppa of hours that is. the me now is a better person than the me 6 hours ago. i'm smarter than that guy.
if anything, yesterday was worth it. i'd be pulling your left leg if i tell you it was bad. it was just flawless. everything was right for that 34 hours span. the people, the drinks, the food, the BEER, the movie, the coffee. mmmmh. i feel like going out again.
as soon as i reach home, mom and dad took me to the temple for a stroll, they believe that i need a religion. any religion. and i thought they gave up. they very, consistent. i sense the force is srong with both of them. well, i had to go. they asked politely. there's no way i can refuse. it's Wesak Day by the way.
light. bright
(Friday, May 20, 2005)
ever tried blogging when you're sky high? when you twice the effort to express whatever crap in your head? the pathetic feeling stucks on you till the high is gone. the high will never be gone if you're me.
drama queen. that girl.
(Thursday, May 19, 2005)this post is not an acrimony. just a simple to do guide to help reduce the mess. the author do not celebrate the notion of self-inflicted death penalty.
interesting stuff happens when people decide to take away their own lives. in other words, suicide. before one dies, one has to know better than to just die without leaving a message or a will. explaination helps. one should at least explain why he/she decides on the suicide mission. saves the CSI team the trouble thinking it's a bloody homocide, trying to mimic the cause of your death, cursing you the worse of hell when they found out you took your empty life. for the better of the society.
if you can't write, leave a tape. if you're so unlucky to find that your dog ate your tape, then call someone to inform, technically, if loansharks are after you, be responsible enough to notify them in case there's a protocol for them to witness your death. for christ's sake, do not ever leave the world with huge mess on your ass. blowing up your head will cause a mess in the room. just drink 1 litre of detergent. it painfully satisfy a suicider's needs. however, it doesn't kill as instant as a bullet through the head.
well, maybe commiting suicide might be a good way to contribute to the society too if you think you're useless.
all i was trying to say is that, my friend gave me her blog because she wants to kill herself. it's written in her death will. i'm honored and confused. why not her money instead? or the younger sister? or maybe something memorable like her ear or something? i'm sure an ear would make a very lovely keychain.
why did the house smells like rotten corps?
(Tuesday, May 17, 2005)i felt dirty.
not the type of filthy feeling that explains you need to get fucked or you got fucked and felt bad about it now. nope, particularly not that. the fact is almost as good as claiming that i didn't shower at all last week. i was a little too busy so or i'm too drunk to lift a muscle. in my case, when i'm busy, i don't really give a fuck about how stinky i am, try to look at it this way, i'm pretty much immune to whatever body odor that i have. yeah, i guess i did smell like a freakin' dog's piss last week. who cares?
the other time where i 'm not very busy, i had so much fun drinking, i kind of forgot that it gets people drunk. do you know that heavy alcohol consumption makes people's muscle limp?
golfing into neighbour's lawn
(Monday, May 16, 2005)
light as a feather, free as a bird
()
music of the moment - Barry White's Let the Music Play.
feeling of my feet on the ground makes reality seems more bona fine. boucing like an idiot with naked feet is plain fun and not a single fraction of stupidity. i wasn't even half drunk. maybe as drunk as a skunk but not even half drunk.
the whole week was sealed in to a bottle and i threw into a sea of lost memories, along with my flip-flops which explains why my feet was naked. la di daa...whatever the fuck. did i tell you that boucing with a nude feet on the grass is very ticklish?
p/s - oh for fuck's sake, i don't know who fucking stole my slippers while i was bouncing on the grass. to the person who stole my slippers - i got another pair at home! blueks.
p/s (2) - stop staring at my feet. you have it too. i'll blush if you fucking stare anymore.
if the condom split open, you ain't a dad yet, don't worry.
(Saturday, May 14, 2005)the week was in a mess. no news is good news. every other news brought forward to my attention is just another emotionally disturbing chaos. right now, i have a phobia when people want to tell me something. i just feel like plugging my ears with my fingers and sing baa baa black sheep verse over and over again till i see a real sheep comes and invites me for a shot of Jack Daniel's when someone had a sudden urge to speak to me urgently. guess i also forgot it takes more courage to answer the ringing phone too.
the last minute unplanned lunch date with steph didn't mirror the tinniest bit of the previous 5 days at all. a fair compensation for the rough week i had. steph is nice. that woman loves alcohol and she loves alcohol. people that loves alcohol are very very adorable. oh, fuck, i'm getting carried away again. so steph is the person of the week in my life. she's going to reward me with bak kut teh tomorrow. yeah, bak kut teh means pork! i don't believe anything other than pork makes me happier. well, there's alcohol too. do you think that they serve pork and beer at the same time? the thought is orgasmic. better than porn or sex or sex with japanese porn star or sex with a pair of japanese porn star...
sky getting darker everyday.
(Thursday, May 12, 2005)may just came and i already hate her. last year's wasn't a darling too. last may was a whore that sucks on my dick and left halfway because she had bowel problems. that's what last may was all about.
on this week, mostly on the day, i spend my time trying to work out the problems in the office. meanwhile, at night, i'm just out there, see if there's anything i can do to help my troubled friends. the repetoire of troubles gets bigger and bigger as the calender expires. i leave home at 8 in the morning everday and i reach home at 10/11 everynight. sometimes earlier. i hadn't have time for myself since may started.
zoe told me jane'nette dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer. it's so shocking. i ran out of comfort words to say to people. never imagined things would turned out this way for anyone.
su hsia's wedding is next week. everything else has to be on hold till after su hsia's wedding next week.
who said the world is fair?
i knew from the beginning it isn't. i just don't know that foul play is permitted. and i never knew it could go this low. honestly, i'm very tired and depressed.
qoute of the day:
troubles are like vermin we can never rid of. we thought we did, but it never really goes away.
diet coke.
()200 bucks can buy a bottle of chianti
200 bucks is how much you pay for a silk underwear
200 bucks is like the amount of cash i'm gonna dump into my friend's wedding present
but some people only earn 2oo bucks a month
and some people are only worth 200 bucks
how much does 200 bucks really worth?
th imortant hings e frget
(Monday, May 09, 2005)choon hua called me today. being the funniest person i've met to date, i was expecting a great a moment of laughter. he always manage to crack away whatever despression with his distinct sense of humour. but hua never calls me. i took for granted that he need some porno movies again. but his voice bears a depressing tone.
LiEw: hey, waddup.
hua: dude, i fucked up.
LiEw: calm down dude, what happened.
hua: i fucked up. i had an accident.
LiEw: oh fucking hell. fuck, dude, you ok? you're not in a hospital right?
hua: i killed someone in the accident.
LiEw: ...but you're ok right?
hua: i was just they just release me from the lock-up.
i couldn't say anything so i hung up. hua's best friend, hong called me a few minutes later. i learnt from hong that not only that he killed someone, that someone was a cop. apparently, hua's car slipped while he was taking a sharp corner. the now-dead-copper was unlucky enough to be around and his car just rammed onto him. he wasn't lucky enough to lose his breath on the spot. it took him hours before death came to collect him.
i'm going to see hua tonight. there's only so much a friend can do.
will stop writing. the mind is absent. a part of me tells me that i'm having a nightmare.
manners: table, bed, conversation and etc.
(Sunday, May 08, 2005)certain individuals are just plain rude and disrespectful. maybe they just don't understand that civilization has evolved that far since stone age communism is abolished. there's also a chance they're so pussy whipped, they forgot all their moral lessons. or maybe, these people are just plain rude.
i have nothing to say to rude people because i have manners and i do not tolerate the company of barbarians. if i need barbarians, there's plenty of them in china. a billion of them. most malaysians are nice. the minorities ought to go back to their forefather.
fourth of the night
(Friday, May 06, 2005)
i'm gonna stop prying here anymore tonight, i promise. will be good and read catch-22. need to finish on the weekend.
look at the downloads on the left side of the page. click to download.
download and listen for fuck's sake cause it's magically good
ONLY sample the songs and DELETE. do not keep. if you like them, buy their album!
and who was it that said i can't be annoying? i can if i try hard you know
third of the night
()three posts in a night. before certain innuendo that lights a light bulb on your head hits you, i should explain. i'm a the middle of a novel actually. music is my addendum while reading.
this are my playlist songs.
1. Zero 7 - The Space Between
2. Chicane - Saltwater
3. Nickodemus & Osiris - Mariaposa
4. Cantoma - Balafia
5. Kid Loco - Relaxin' With Cherry
6. Explosion in the Sky - Yasmin the Light
7. Afterlife - Dub In Ya Mind (Beach Club Mix)
8. Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
9. Martine Girault - Revival
10. Coldplay - Spies
11. Esthero - Superheroes
12. Sarah Mclachlan - Ice Cream
13. Eartha Kitt - C'est Si Bon
14. Heitor Pereire - Remember Me
15. Bill Weiters - Ain't No Sunshine
16. Natalie Imburglia - Identify
just another subterfudge to add an entry into my blogging marathon. i'll seal my lips, or rather, keyboard now and let the songs spin. deepest apology on the acrimony.
second of the night.
()at the beginning, it was a tiny crack. smaller than a 5 cent coin. more or less almost invisible. 3 days later, the crack on my windshield expanded into a few inches. more recently, the crack is longer than one between J'Lo's ass. yes, THAT LONG. it'll cost me a fortune to stay get it replaced. my heart was as shattered and i gave up washing my car. everytime i looked at my car, all i see is a big as fuck line, much more emphasized mentally than it is physically on my windshield.
out of the blue, my car is stained by something i'd not know how to describe so i have to wash it myself. due to my cash tight condition. i'm no wizard like merlin or berlin or lilin -whatever his name is, but i sure as hell know i'm a more eloquent and skillful magican than him. despite i don't need the usual yabba-dabba-doo or abacedabera crap, the percentage of success is 89%, plus white cloak is just to look more pleasent, somehow people you're a pro. everytime i tend/want to watch my clothes or car, sky never fails to turn dark, dark clouds gathering outta nowhere, taking over the blue shades moment by moment. then they wait, anticipating the moment i start to wash my car. looking at me from their spying palace like a predator waiting for it's prey to fill-in the distance gap, know that will be achieve in the matter of time.
as usual i would wash my car/clothes, then instantly it'll pour like it had never rain before, like BOSSSSSSH!!!
bah bah black sheep, one little two little three little...
where was i again? yeah, BOSSSSSSHHHHH!!! highly impossible but nontheless factual. it is just me of the sound of the rain now sounds like some cruel laughter?
first of the night.
(Thursday, May 05, 2005)the proven profit earning business often associate with entertainment business. wet-looking sexy skimpy man/women on stage attempting to throw each other in the air. sports vigilante they call themselves, i strongly disagree. entertainment junkies sounds much better. nevertheless, malaysia lacks the thrist for entertainment. as a malaysian, i have no idea where does all the nation's money to go. they don't really shop, they don't go to fancy restaurants, the clubbing scenes are high the ceiling of dodgyness cum symbol of doped mobsters. what genre of entertainment does the country long for?
due to shortage in ways to curb stress in the manacing society, they resort to the easiest most economic efficient way to express whatever injustice and mistreatment paid to them is by performing numerous nail-chewing stunts and deadly feats on the road. traffic playground is just a compensation for the deficient in entertainment for the mass. the public needs a place to channel their thoughts and their anger, like a circus, porn channel, porn magazine and etc but unfortunately, only the former is available.
forget watching overated car chasing scenes or million-dollar hollywood racing videos, you can get it all in malaysia. there was this once i watched a very highly rated japanese racing video and all i could say after the video is 'pffftttt, that's fucking all? dammit, people do it in malaysia everyweek weekend!!! even my cousin do that every weekend'. everyone has a crazy street racer friend/relative, don't you?
probably the tourism board of malaysia has shortlisted street racing in their fascinating sights in malaysia. it's something that us malaysians should be proud about.
if ever someone from a foreign country asks me - what's so interesting about malaysia? i'll proudly say, the twin towers, the tropical islands, the weather, the people and the traffic condition, see to believe, you can't get it elsewhere!
destination: weekend
(Wednesday, May 04, 2005)
it's mother day, i can't leave town this weekend.
dush dush dush, la di da, do re mi.
()i got fucked this morning because i lost my cheque book. do you know if you lost your cheque book, you need to log a police report? yeah, that's disturbing. it's as important as my i/c amd driving license, dammit. oh, i lost my i/c and driving license in melbourne anyway. goddamn, i was so sad about the money clip ok. life's never gonna be the same again without a money clip. the i/c and driving license are always welcomed go missing and screw their female counterpart anytime. but NOT THE FUCKING MONEY CLIP.
the 2nd bad news came slamming on my face right after that. my credit card bill last month was slighty less than how much i earn a month. slight less is like 25 bucks. which means, this whole month, no starbucks, no coffee bean, no fancy restaurant and no drinking. that's indeed the most breath-taking news i've got by far. in fact, the bank should put a 'open at own risk' at the cover of the credit statement, just in case.
since i lost my cheque book, i don't know how to pay off my credit card. there goes. a solution. if you don't know how to pay, you don't pay till you figure out how. so theoritically, i'm not heavily in debt because...just because! the bank do anything with my fancy underwear if they want it. i can go commando.
today is tuesday.
(Tuesday, May 03, 2005)today is tuesday. tuesday is the second day of the week. tuesday is always boring and uneventful. wednesday is the 3rd day of the week. on earth, not mars. in mars, they call it whuzteaye. yup. i'm not pulling you leg. neither am i pulling the leg hair.
it was only on a muthafucking tuesday morning that i have to drag myself off the bed to work. stood there while clawed continuously by freezing lively cold water in the shower for 20 minutes, piercing me into reality. it had hardly woke me up a little.
because it could only happen this way. my fucking cds, 3 of them, without any particular logical reasons, just fucking flew outta the cd rack while i was sleeping. sheeesh. it went *kepiangggggg ang ang ang* (alright, don't laugh, it did sound exactly the same. yes.) then i woke up, look at the fuggin' cds and took every will power i have to fucking pick it up. then i couldn't because i was so fucked (tired). when i try going back to sleep, i was lying on bed, eyes wide open, brains entirely sober. fucking hell. the time when the man needs a decent sleep, the cds has to drop outta the cd rack, like fuck.
i came up with a few theories on why and how it happened.
i) in some fucking weird ways, there was a shift on the gravity force in my room. wasn't enough to put people outta their beds or dislocate all my cds from my rack but enough to cause the cds without the case to drop out. makes sense, didn't it?
ii) i need a bomoh. why do i need a bomoh? the room is infested with some restless souls. oh fuck. it's illogical. i'll discharge this possibility. case close. i'm no x-files material. my life is already too interesting. think cassie, eh?
iii) sleep walking. i remember that i had a dream before it feel down. maybe i was subconsciously trying to listen to the cd.
iv) this is the best answer. someone was shagging someone else next door and they were so busy having multiple orgasms (or so they thought they were, but not really) they forgot that they were actually banging on the wall THAT hard. come to think of it, they must have had a sex deprieved lifesytle to be that strong. tsk tsk, they should fuck more often like ordinary couples.
v) knowing me, the all good and no-nonsense guy, God decided to drop a hint for me to buy 4-D. or lottery. a decent reward for mr. goody two shoes like me.
wokay. i think i need a beach-resort a get-away this weekend. Chicane's Saltwater had been playing since i came home.
dogs barking
(Sunday, May 01, 2005)currently listening to: benny benassi's love is gonna save us (yeah right...it fucking will alright...definately!)
waiting for something to happen. it's 2 am. the night is still a baby. it's bound to happen anytime soon. maybe i just need to read.
something's gonna happen, it should. and i'm still waiting for it.
call me a freak. yeah, i'm a big fucking freak alright. take a crap if you agree with me.
