high @ wasted = good shite, MATE!
(Thursday, March 24, 2005)
p/s - ohhhhhhhhhhh...i'm in the middle of a blog war. haahaha. i get more hits than usual. whatever. pftttt...
pre-vacation jitters
(Tuesday, March 22, 2005)my other post was evaporated. i hate blogspot now. officially. will write a hate mail to them.
i've been packing since the sun went down the two mountain that looks like a women's cleavage till it went underneath it. oh i tell you, it's not easy. it was all about stuffing my outfits into and digging it out of the bag for 304,670 times. check, double check, triple check. in this case, solely to avoid my creative habit of forgetting my towel, every single time. after all the hard work and stamina consuming effort, i realised that i have two (2) setbacks bigger than the titanic itself, or rather the iceberg that it hit.
1) i couldn't find my underwears. i hate to believe that while i quest for the super unsexy lame colored underwear around the perimeter of my house estate, even dug a hole in my garden to see justify whether it was my neighbour's dog, a fucking queer perverted maniac is out there, somewhere under a concrete bridge, having the biggest hard-on of his life exploiting the delicious scent of my underwear. this is not funny. NOT FUNNY!
2) i swear my bag got smaller. everything had fit perfectly into my lagguge before i removed everything to check. even had space for a bottle of whiskey. next thing i know, there's not even space for a pack of condoms. it just fucking shruk. i need an extra bag. maybe it's a sign from God that a bottle of whiskey is not enough so i need the additional luggage specially for it. the word 'whee' is perfect to describe my level of joy now.
3) i know i said two (2) but since i'm at it, i'd love to continue i still can't figure out what sort of clothing i need. some said it's cold, some said not. i sincerely don't wanna look like a bald frozen chicken, shivering like a skeleton on vibrator or die somewhere in the streets of melbourne because of heat stroke.
the part where he lost himself.
(Sunday, March 20, 2005)alcohol got the best of me last night. got hyper-active, jumped around like my feet's on fire, in order to put it off, frequent body movement is unavoidable. one of the best moment of the night was when i try to hoola a police car to gimme a ride down the hill. i guess it was a smart thing to do at that point of time. i still think it was a very bright idea till now. the siren lights must have attracted me, i was also hoping for the policewomen in uniforms. they didn't stop. after that i jumped into the middle of the road to stop a van. flesh and blood versus steel, human versus machine.
religion
(Saturday, March 19, 2005)most of the people that knows me will believe me if i tell them i pissed at the entrance of a religious place night before. not because i was drunk, although i might but solely because my reputation as a non-believer craved a deep impression in them. as hard as i tried, i lack the power to believe in them. guess i'm just religiously handicapped. if there is such term.
i have no problem with anyone and their religion as long as they don't be judgamental about how i live my life. well, my subconscious self which i do not keep much contact me might believe otherwise. maybe deep inside an abyss of some corner in my head, i do want convert into some sort of religion. whatever the fuck the reason is, i took the quiz and just want to justify the fucking results.
You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com |
interesting facts
fact no. 1
holy muthafucking shit. i mean i fucking believe that there's a god in everything. what the fuck? ok, like fuck is also a god cause i worship him everyday by saying the word fuck. actually i think paganisme is peaceful religion, as long as it doesn't require me to sacrafice living being to them. donkeys and mule is ok to be sacraficed. girls - uh uh. my guy friends - ok too.
fact no. 2
83 percent that i belong as a muslim. i love to eat pork, i love things that muslim can't really do too. so i guess reason would be to masquarade myself as one of them and bang as much chicks as i can before they find out. actually more like to bang as much chicks as i can before i die. ahhh...i forgot, i don't do circumcisation. maybe i can be a fucking fanatic that runs big planes towards high building. if you do that everyweek, you'll run outta tall targets. that's awfully despressing.
fact no. 3
79 percent satanism? whoa i'm hardcore deep inside. didn't know that, i'd be in pimp cars with buncha filthy whores innint. you know what i'm saying? so i get to share all the fucking hottest chicks in town with lucifer, hanging out in club, sipping scotch, getting laid with an unnatural amount of of guy-girl ratio.
fact no. 4
i don't get myself anymore.
random fact: my plate no is 666. is it by coincidence?
buttered fries
(Wednesday, March 16, 2005)my tummy's filled with buttered fries. feels like there's a shuffling party inside. so i can't think of anything to say. butter and fries.
[edit]
it's not bloody fair at all. this is just unacceptable. she gets this Umbria Jazz Fair and all i get is some stooopid Queer Film Festival. i think i'm gonna get a gun and splatter my brains around the room. dammit. IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR....
p/s - what the fuck is a queer film festival about?
[/edit]
land of lost paper clips and coins
(Tuesday, March 15, 2005)
it was a theather.
somehow it was abandoned since 5 years back.
the couple shared the ownership of it with their relatives.
Today, the lovely happily married couple are celebrating their 22nd years of marriage. (and i didn't know and i was blabbling about divorce, and knockups and singlehood to them during lunch, if YOU'RE reading this, I'M SORRY, but you didn't tell me)
they are blessed with 2 children, 1 female, the other, male.
Today, the building will serve it's last day as a theather for tomorrow, interiors will torn apart, renovation will profane it's floor, and it will mutate to suit it's purposes in the future. hopefully, any sort of alteration will not pervert the handsome stunning castle
an awkward moment.
(Monday, March 14, 2005)delete due to explicit content
as the rush comes.
(Friday, March 11, 2005)somehow supressing an adrenaline charge is harder than getting one. while driving home in the long straight cyberjaya/putrajaya highway, an adrenaline rush kicked in. trying to drive slowly when i'm physically and mentally charged isn't easy. music on the radio isn't helping either, they were spinning trance track. oh what the hell!!! adrenaline slowly possesses me and i was tailgaiting a car at high speed. it wasn't my fault. i lost control of myself. no, i didn't have a sip of alcohol
what i want to do in aussie part 1
(Tuesday, March 08, 2005)
if you're thinking, they's so fucking cute, you wanna huge them, you're either a girl or you're gay. if you're thinking they're fucking ugly, you're just an uptight bastard, you need to chillout. if you thinking what the fuck, man you're one fucking lazy dude. too lazy to think as well. shessh. howfuckingever, if you can't stop thinking how hard you want to whack em' with a baseball bat, dude, you're the man. you deserve every award on earth for intelligence and creativity. if you have couple of cents to spare, go and buy a beer to celebrate.
you see, a koala is as good as a pinata. although it moves it's slow and it's natural habit to hang around a higher than ground level confirms the enigma whether the fucker's a natural target for a drunk man with a stick. like they always say, 'God's got a plan for everybody1.' koala's born to make people2 happy.
now, if only i can prove that if you bat that furry load of mass, candies will come out from the stomach, then something will be named after me. how do you get candies to drop out from the stomach? so everybody, go on, grab a bat and club them hard. not the head, they might get angry or run away for fuck's sake cause they're alive. bat them hard on the stomach where all the candies are. don't kill all of them, leave one or two for me...please!
1 in this case, everything
2 actually they're made to make MEN happy. since today is international women's day, i have to use people instead. women are bloody troublesome. they never have a men's day to celebrate us being manly.
fate
(Monday, March 07, 2005)it's monday. back to the ground again. fuck.
i don't believe in fate. they say fate1 does wonders. like a string, fate tied people together. connect people to each other like nokia phones. i think fate has a rather raunchy sense of humour. out of millions of people out there, she'll make sure one gets to meet some crazy assholes. what are the possibilty if we live naturally, we meet them? i'd say maybe as random as dog that plays violin and juggles 3 chainsaws2 while unicycling at the same period. yes, it's not actually fucking possible at all, dammit. but it still happens.
1if fate is a person, she is equivolant to your uptight landlady. yeah, she gives you a nice cosy comfortable place to stay but she bugs with you with all sorts of you used too much waste to flush you poo.
2dogs can do everything. they just need to concentrate more. their dumbs looks are just a facade. they're actually smarter than human beings.
blame the alcohol or rather chemistry
(Sunday, March 06, 2005)her name is cassie wednesday. because her name is cassie and i met her on a cold wednesday evening. also, she smells like wednesday. wednesday smells like rain.
a few months after i got to know cassie, john convinced me that tonight will be the night to remember cause he's going to zoukfest to party. none of my business and utter gibberish. i finally managed to gather all my courage i have and told her i have feelings for her. her only reply was oh shit, really? then followed by, haha, what took you so long? my balls fell out when she said really.
i drove her back and she asked me whether i want coffee. i'm caffeine intollerant so i said not. i had wine instead. halfway through the Pinot Noir at the balcony;
isn't this for your friend's wedding dinner or something?
oh crap! guess she'll need to get a bottle herself now. finish up, i still got another bottle in my car.
i had to leave after 1 and a half bottle of Pinot Noir cause it's kicking in pretty hard while incubus' summer romance was playing at the background. i gave her an awkward goodbye and next thing i know, we were kissing each other lustfully. she thinks it's chemistry. i think it's the wine. she gave me a friendly twack, i still think it's the wine. no worries, i still have another box in my room.
cassie, sleep well honey.
house hijacker.
(Friday, March 04, 2005)i felt a light pressure on my finger and someone said "wake up. it's time for you to leave"
my phone howled non stop like stray dogs trying to bark a mentality challanged stranger away today. dogs and keep on barking but the man will not understand. most of them from office and my suppliers. it went so bad, they even called my house when i didn't pick up the mobile phone. so i called cassie wednesday
cassie?
you need a place to hide again?
yeah. please?
you're always welcome. there's cakes in the fridge. you have the keys right?
thanks.
instead of going home, i napped at cassie's apartment. she's got the best carpet ever and she never turns off the music in her house. slow soft faint music all day long. next thing i know, i heard the door and i felt a light pressure on my finger and a soft voice said "wake up. it's time for you to leave, mom and dad are coming over to see me for dinner. you wanna tag along?
what's up, mate! (in aussie accent)
(Thursday, March 03, 2005)hell yeah, i'm going to aussie on my brithday to shoot some kangaroos, wrestle some crocodiles, get wasted on wine, get wine hangover, get wasted on wine again and punch some koala. yes isobel, i'll bring a koala back for you. whatever.
important!
(Wednesday, March 02, 2005)i learnt a few things important facts about life lately.
1. do not try to chat up with anyone next to you when you're running/walking on a treadmill. you can't engage on a conversation and pant like an exited puppy at the same time. unless you have stamina like the humans in jurassic park. looking unreasonably tired makes you appear dumb or like Homer Simpson. going like 'huff huff huff, oxygen! ox'fuckin'xygen!!! please!!!' never does impress girls.
2. do some background check before you flirt with strangers you meet at work. no matter how sexy or great they look. they might be someone you talk to on the phone everyday and knows everyone in your office for fuck's sake. even if they look like nicole kidman. or pamela anderson. or both.
3. always have backup plans because your parents might ditch you anytime to visit their homies and not cook dinner at home. eating out is bad when you're dirt broke.
4. never say cibai out loud while everyone in the office is looking at you. people will have this impression that you're a very vulgar person. when you're vulgar, they don't want to have direct eye contact with you.
5. mcdonald opens till late and coffee bean doesn't. mamak is open for 24 hours.
6. never wash your car cause it'll rain heavily 5 minutes after.
