Seemless Session
spent the entire afternoon printing the thesis today. all 100+++ pages of them. i wonder if people get the same feeling like i do when i am about to submit the thesis. because of the time, effort and uncountable headaches i have to bear with when i was doing the thesis, i really wanted it to be perfect. nothing but perfection. i think this is the first time ever i did something with all my heart! it's hard to believe that it's actually complete but i feel that there's more i can add to...but i don't want to. i need to put a stop at this. it's been haunting me for the past few months because i've been doing more than i should. it's a good thing but i don't think doing too much is okay...argh...i don't think i want to work hard for anything anymore...has anyone saw lotr? the thesis is like the ring to me. it tortures me badly but i still think that it's my precious...MY PRECIOUSSSS...geez i'm sick
bad news. my tv is not working anymore. i turned it on today and it flickers then after that i switched it off. then ee kang, loi and min xi took turns to switch it on and one of them said a smell of something burning came out from the back of the tv. ergh, my precioussss tv is goneee...
details about my tv:
-16-17 inch (even my pc monitor is bigger)
-10+ years old (meaning: it could be around 11-17 years)
-coloured screen
-it's not fucking LCD
-it's my preciousssss...
it's a free gift my dad got some time ago because he bought one of those big ass mobile phones...i got no car, no tv...sigh. this is my life? is this going to be the end of my entertaining life? then the star wars game bought last night cannot run too...erh. bluek!
bluek!
i think i have a weird dream last night too. does dream have any connection to the life we're living? does it anyhow resemble the future? i think deja-vu is a common incident among us. i personally hate deja-vu a lot. i used to get a lot of it when i'm young and now it rarely happen anymore. i think as we grow older, the time that we use to rest is limited and therefore, we can't really get the PERFECT SLEEP. the type of sleep where you fall deeply into. what i'm trying to say is, we don't really use our brain to the max. someone told me that you just use around 30% or something. what i think happens during deja-vu is we actually uses our brains more than we should or accidentally open up the unused area of our brain. maybe lots of rest helps that to happen and in some twisted way, our brains manage to absorb some information about the future subconsiously. well, you can say that deja-vu is a type of time travel...time travel doesn't mean that you have to go to the time...time can also come to you...you know what i mean?
i can really make out a lot of crap when i feel tired and sleepy. i think i need to get some rest in order to be able to see my future...
make trade fair...
LiEw, xXx
(Saturday, February 28, 2004)
Homework, Magazines and PORN
i feel like crap today. i got back to JB around 7.50 pm. did some unpacking, mail checking and watched survivor. then i was told that i have an assignment the next afternoon....ar, heLL! curses!!! so i did my homework till 3. the funny thing is, i have a copy of Fredico's homework. i looked at it a bit and i really have no idea what the guy is trying to say...i mean his 'tatabahasa' and malay vocabulary is good but the content of the essay he wrote is u-s-e-l-e-s-s!!! i have to write it myself (deep inside, i wish i can really copy someone's work if they not so...bad) then i have to write and struggle with my aching head from the tireness. but i managed to finish it around 3+. *grief!!!
then i don't really feel like sleeping cause Loi gave me a porn vcd! name me a guy who can reject porn and i will definately assure you that it's not me! so i started watching the show at 3+ in the morning, full volume blasting my altec lansing just in case people don't know there's a lucky guy in the room enjoying porn. well, after the first 1/2 hour of the show, i think it's sort of porn but not porn. it about some guys producing a porn magazine thingy. dumb ass chinese show. i was pissed then. 5 in the morning, feeling down cause i was cheated by something so called porn!!! why would anyone says it's porn when it's really a chinese comedy with a little nudity. i think they should call it c-o-m-e-dy!!! i was so angry and pissed, i slept till 11! (i get tired easily when i'm pissed or angry)
i walked to Jusco after i'm up with the hope that i can get something to entertain me for the day. i bought lunch (1 whole black pepper chicken) and klue magazine cause they're reviewing Urbanscape which i missed because of some stupid test which was cancelled at the last minute. arghhh. (i need to control my anger before i get a gun and shoot the lecturer for cancelling the test and my Loi for the fake-porn). the best thing that happened is i saw Danielle Graham in kLUE.
just in case some people might not know, i adore Danielle. to me, she's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen (except ming yee). she's also a Hong Kong based local model. i have a 7 ft giant poster of her in my room courtesy from my beloved cousin, Yoke Leng. i just think that looking at Danielle makes me feel at ease. (no, i do not masturebate while looking at her photo just in case any of you sick bastards thought that i might just do that!) if you've never seen danielle, buy issue 55 of kLUe Magazine and flip to page 36 *tadda...she's the sexy chick in white. there's two of them in white but if you think the other one looks great, you really need to get your sight checked for at least a 1000 times!
oh yeah, the SPM result is out today. not that it has anything to do with me but my sister, Pui San and G's sister Myn Wee, (the person who wrote the intro for my site) is about to know how did they fare in the exam. which reminds me that i need to call them after this...
you know what i personally think about test and examinations, i think it's just a way to show that you actually know what's happening but it doesn't mean that you understand. that's deep...ok, let me put it this way - getting straight A's in the exam means that you're good in your studies but it doesn't mean that you can practice what you learnt in school. it means that people with bad grades might be good in technical stuff and people with good grades may not be. i'm trying to say people with good grades are stupid but some of them really don't deserve their grades and some of them really do. maybe Malaysia should think of a way to upgrade their examination evaluation system to make exams fairer to those who really deserves it...someday i hope
actually the whole load of crap about exam and evaluation system is another cheap excuse for lazy people (like me and a whole lot more) to think that they're actually smart but they just 'don't want to do it'...ahhaha
LiEw, xXx
Coffee Bean, Breakers, JD coke, New Highway and etc.
(Friday, February 27, 2004)i had an outing last night. the initial plan was only to see Zoe and talk to her a bit about me. i picked her up at her place and went to our place, coffee bean in kiara. i think it's the best place to talk. since non of us smoke anymore, we normally sit inside to avoid the heat and the cigarette smell. that was normally, but yesterday was not the normal day so we sat outside. still not smoking but it was pretty cold inside. *phek, phek - cigarette smoke!!!
we spoke till around 10+ then Gan, zoe's boyfriend called us to meet him and his college friends in Breakers. went to breakers and i saw daphne there. spoke to her a bit then i left her to join zoe, gan and those people i don't know and don't really want to know...then charmaine, zoe's friend, poured some liqour and i had to drink...i took 3 glass, got a little drunk then i left. went home with the new highway. penchala link. i hate to drink and drive...what choice i have right?
so basically that's all i did last night. i had milk shake, then packed myself with some liquor and i went home...what a night! i think i need to drink at a minimal rate. i get drunk in easily...
LiEw, xXx
(Wednesday, February 25, 2004)
Lost
the thing about me is, i tend to do lot of dumb things. i like to make mistakes so that i can learn. not that i intentionally fuck things up but my logic is a little fuck up so the things i do tend to be a little fucked...so when repeated fuck things up, people start to stay away from you...only the people whom i consider real friends has stay with me through thick and thin. have they not be there in my life, i don't know what wil happen to my life. to me, i choose my friends based on how i feel towards them. if i feel that they are good people, they normally is. however, the error in judgement bears a heavy price. i paid it...then i never trusted my instincts anymore due to the betrayal. the only thing that never change my best friends; Zoe and Geak Wee.
the sad news is, G left for australia yesterday night. maybe the next time i see is 9 months after yesterday. if i say i don't feel a thing, it must be a lie. G has been a friend who has shared many memories with me and has been such a great friend, mentor and advisor to me. although she's not no.1 in the list, she's still the friend which has been there everytime when i needed her and she gave me a new pair of eyes to see the world which i can never see before i knew her.
weird thing is, i never liked G at all when i first new her. i hated her a lot. guess things changed. i can say that G's the only friend who i can consider as my guru in life. many people cannot understand where the great respect towards G comes from and neither can i...
now that she's not here, i'm going to have a tough time again. at some point in everyone's life, i think it's good to have a friend/mentor/whoever to guide you along. G's is one of the person who can inject facts into my stuborn head. well, no point crying over spilled milk. i just hope i get to see more of her next time she's back.
by the way, it rained before she left. i think the sky is crying because of her departure too...just some stupid twisted logic.
well, there's bad news and there's good news in my life. the good news is, i had my thesis presentation yesterday. it was awful before i started, i've been trying to figure out what the lecturer might ask about i didn't get much sleep the night before. then went i went to my presentation hall, my favorite lecturer (dr. khairul) told me that one of my panel lecturer, Dr. Mus (he's the lecturer who frequently ask very advanced questions) is not here for the day...YIPPIES!!! HORRAYY!!! so only En Dzul is there and En Dzul went to Penang with me so basically he knows what's i'm doing. i got my confidence, presented my results and then the most eerie part of the presentation started, the Q & A...
ironically, instead of being the mr. nice guy En Dzul normally is, he asked quite a number of questions. it started off with simple technical stuff then he moved to the deeper questions. and deeper. i managed to survive all of the questions except one. i just said 'i dunno!'. soon after, he ended my Q & A session and boy was i glad it's over. relieved, i felt like a part of the weight on my shoulder has been lifted off. the best part is, he praised me at the end of the presentation saying that i did a very complete analysis with my data. i smiled. he left. and before i know it, it's over!!! CHEERS!!!
i think i did great too but my success would be sweeter if Dr. Mus came and become the panel for my thesis. now i only have 1/2 a success instead...but i can't help but feel that i had a lucky day...
i have to shower and go out now. i'm going to try on the new highway!!! what's the name, penchala link, i think!
and G, malaysia will never be the same to me without you, your weird theories, your self proclaimed inner peace and all the things you do you crazy bitch!
LiEw, xXx
(Sunday, February 22, 2004)
going mad/crazy/cuckoo
i got absolutely nothing to say. brains not working. shit i need to use it and it's not working. do you think if i log a complain to the government they might be able to get me a new one or a re-fund? do you also think that human branis comes with a warranty card or a warranty period?
LiEw
(Friday, February 20, 2004)
38.4 degrees
i caught fever and i went to see a doctor. i hate doctors. i hate clinics too. it's been almost 3/4 years since i saw a doctor. it's not that i don't get sick. i do get sick but i would prefer get chinese medication rather than swallowing pills. but i had no choice. Ee Kang drove me there. the last time i went to see a doctor is utm was also the courtesy of Ee Kang. he's been such a great housemate.
the doctor said have high fever and asked me to get more rest. actually i have minor flu couple of weeks ago and i thought it's no big deal. then i think the little virus in me grew stronger after my tiring basketball game last night. i still can't see the logic of catching fever after a tiring basketball game. uh...
anyway, talking about doctors. i think all doctors look the same. small sized, specky, neat and polite looking. the perfect target for high school bullies. it's almost like the have words on their forehead written 'beat me up'. so inviting, so hard to resist...nyek nyek nyek nyek nyek...(i think the medication is making me a little high...). neh, doctors are good people. in some ways, they are at the higher level of the society ladder. who cares...
ok, my medication is making me sleepy again. i need to sleep.
LiEw, xXx
(Thursday, February 19, 2004)
jumping and endless torture
arms hurting...
feet hurting...
vision bluring...
muscles are numb...
i don't even know how did i engage myself in that basketball game (i would rather call it a basketball brawl!). i voluntarily went for a basketball BRAWL today with my classmates for fun and to hurt myself. i did nothing but run around the basketball court for 2 hours chasing after a ball and shoot hoops like an idiot. (i didn't get to enjoy the shoot hoop part. i'm darn lousy in basketball. only reason i went is because i have nothing else better to do.) so after the stupid idiot ran for two hours non stop, of course he's gonna get sore muscles and unlimited aches around him. i'm feeling that now baby! i feel, therefore i live...bullshit!
ok check this out!
'One of the few guys that i really respect. This guy the ultimate in MAKAN, MUSIC, and standing up for what he thinks. He fucks you in your face not really caring who are you. THIS IS HONESTY. Kinda lame actually when you remember his when you know him in form 3. HAHA. good buds to hang out with. First friend that took me out to drink. Stops while talking to gawk at girls. Always botak(he used to have hair). Independent and artsy (see the stuff in his room you get what i mean. It's like Zen. WHOA!)Good in coms, can drive while drunk, laughs funny, respects people, hangs out with friends' family(the first for melar. At first i found it strange then it became kinda cool).Had a funny experience with him and his bro. Some bitch reversed into his bro's car while we going for tuition then she had the balls to say "Are you sure it's me?", pointing to the dent that she made to the car. Kinda swears a lot (used to) and drinks a lot(used to) and eats marathon style(still do). Want a cool place to hang out or a nice place to eat? Give this guy a call.I'll add more later' - Ming, 2004
that load of crap up there is what my friend said about me in the friendster testimonial column. Ming is my best guy friend. i didn't know that he looks at the that highly. i don't think i deserve that kind of respect from anyone. you know, when people look at you the way he does, there is an expcetation you need to live up to everytime you do something. it's RESPONSIBILITY. COMMITMENT. i spent my entire life trying not to stay low and still people look at me this way. (well, they have right to think right?)
i ran a check on cdnow a few minutes ago. you know what, the DVD of Kill Bill part 1 is not coming out till April. i'm so looking forward for that...i didn't know that it was released in singapore. otherwise i would take a bus over and watch it!!! arghhhhhhhh...i loathe people that cannot accept violence! it's entertainment!!!
my back aches...
my eye lids is not under my brain's command anymore...
i'm going to sleep before i faint!
LiEw, xXx + a lot of aching body parts
Unavoidable Comfort
(Wednesday, February 18, 2004)my test is over! i can't help but feel good now. next week is another busy week but next week is future and today is what i have now. so i'd better enjoy what i have now and forget about what's going to happen...
had some updates in my blog. changed a bit of here and there and i also removed some ugly pictures i had. well, i got sick of it! actually the new colour concept of my blog is inspired by a drama (smallville) i saw last night. i can't help feeling a little melancholic after i saw the show. betrayal, lost of family value, the failure of humanity...i get so frustrated after i watched shows that contains these kind of elements. in some twisted way, if there ain't elements like this, there ain't no drama right? if life is really what it's like in the drama, then i've rather be in the grave to then see the low down of humanity.
well, happy things. about the test.
tuesday afternoon 2pm - i had open book test. 3 essay questions and 1 calculation. i managed to do two on my own and after that i started copying someone else's exam sheet. best part is, the lecturer never really cared if we copied but yet i can't really finish. then after the exam, Dr. Halim took us out for tea break.
wednesday morning 8am - this is an official open book and open discussion test. he gave us a four inch thick note and told us to study everything! and the format of the exam is 'thick the right answer'. after completing almost half of the notes last night, my brain overflooded with information so i didn't finish my notes. midway during exam, my brains was overflooded again. i also almost vomited. apart from that, test went well and i had to struggle through the test with my bloody headache + dizziness
the summary of the test
- 1st test: writing competition and note copying competition. speed is a major factor in the exam.
-2nd test: speed reading and information extraction. the advantage would be given to those with a quick mind and perfect sights.
i also managed to take a personality test a few days ago. these are my results
| ESTP - "Promotor". Action! When present, things begin to happen. Fiercely competitive. Entrepreneur. Often uses shock effect to get attention. Negotiator par excellence. 4.3% of total population. |
Conscious self | Overall self |
 |  |
it really gave me a shock when i noticed only 4.3% of the world's population is like me. i'm a minority, i'm not mainstream. made me happy for a while. then;
MinXi took the test - 2.1% of world's population. anti-social. paranoid. schizoid. (yeah i know, he's sick!. but he's a minority. sigh!)
Ee Kang also took the test - 3.6% of world's population but nothing much about him that i can highlight...
that's all for today. i need to get some rest. my headache is curshing my vision and is maiming my brains to pieces. i need to do some 'intelectually light' things today. like being stupid!
LiEw, headache
(Tuesday, February 17, 2004)
i got test. i'm gonna make this quick
well, i just finished the first episod of smallville. it's showing in singapore channel. nice but a little melancholic. they're making the show a little bit dramatic now. it was just a nice and peaceful teenage drama. now they're adding too much things into it...arghhhhhh...
anyway, i really have to go now...
LiEw
()
busy with tests.
(Sunday, February 15, 2004)
What's the meaning of LOVE?
i found this - check this out!
Valentine’s Day SMS nearly splits couple
SEREMBAN: A two-month-old marriage nearly went on the rocks when an intimate Valentine’s Day text message via the short messaging service (SMS) was sent to a wrong number.
The message that caused it all was: “Darling, I really miss you, always thinking of you even when you are not here tonight beside me in the bed, I am waiting, lots of kisses and hugs-Jane.”
It took the state MCA Public Complaints Bureau about 12 hours of frenzied efforts before the episode ended on a happy note for the couple who were married in December last year.
The recipient, a 27-year-old technician, was on a romantic interlude in the Lake Garden here with his wife when his handphone beeped at about 12.15am.
He asked his 25-year-old wife to retrieve the message and to his shock, she demanded that he stop the car and stormed out.
She accused him of infidelity before leaving for her parents’ home in a taxi.
She refused to answer his calls to clarify the matter, and the following day, his father-in-law called him up to tell him his daughter would be filing for a divorce.
The technician then sought the help of the complaints bureau chief, Khoo Seng Hock, who only managed to contact the sender of the message at 11.10am.
“The woman from Ipoh told me she had actually sent the message to her husband who was in Sabah on a business trip.
“The phone number of the technician and the woman’s husband were nearly the same,” he said.
Khoo said the sender called the technician’s wife and explained what had actually transpired.
The couple made up with a hug in front of their family members.
()
dumb, dumber and sleepier
i barely slept last night. have a massive headache. it'll get better, i believe.
i need to study for my test...arghhh. my brain is lazy and my eyes are tired. i think because i haven't use my brains to study for my exams for such a long time, all brain cells is dying. it's not happenening. i can't be stupid! i'd rather be anything but stupid. i don't know how can i finish a ten inch note in two day's time. i think i need to some religion now so that i can channel my prayers to GOD. or i need to channel some cash to my lecturer and tell him i need an 'A'. i have to get some inner peace back that eleanor tore apart into my soul again. i can't think of anything right now actually, not eleanor, not books or exams but only my coming thesis viva. everything about my life beyond university life depends on it....
i have never been this scared about something since the terrible car accident i had last year. sheesshhh! still gives me the shiver when i think about it.
next week's schedule is as follow:
monday - watch NBA all star game/submission of the technical paper of my thesis
tuesday - test
wednesday - test
next next week's schedule:
monday - complete the presentation things i have to do.
tuesday - presentation
wednesday - partyyyy
thursday - partyyyy harder. (will try not to consume alcohol in the process.)
friday - studyyyyyyy
saturday - study
sunday - Final EXAM!!!
next next next week!
monday - submit assignment. go back to kl, go ipoh and penang.
THE END
LiEw, xXx
(Saturday, February 14, 2004)
BALLS AND JOY
never been this happy for a week already. think the weather is really really killing me. why is it hot sun blazing like nobody's business outside my house but it's cold? either i'm sick or the weather has reached it's peak of oddness? i'm going to stop bitching about the weather once and for all.
saw a great soccer just now. Manchester United won! and the best thing is, one of their player was sent off and they won. although the match was not exactly interesting but the triumph of my favorite team at the end really gave me something to smile about...(i've been like one sick pervert since i came online) i'm looking forward for some new silverwares in Manchester United's cupboard this season...hehehehehe.
Oh yeah, i had a great suprise party for yee kong just know. yee kong has been living with me(us, if you included all my housemates) for 3 whole years in the same house and 1 year in the same dorm. we have never really celebrated his birthday ever. you see, he's born on 5/5/1981 or something like that and it's our summer break in utm. so we never celebrate his birthday before. then yee hwai, his girl-girl suggested that we should have a suprise 'early' birthday for him...i just went ahead with her plans. he's a good person, she's nice and i don't see any point not going! then i ate like i paid for all the food although i didn't. i think she made the party for him cause he's feels pressured lately. he's got a lot of undone thesis work so he's working his ass off day and night. he needed that break...nice work from yee hwai!
my utm life ends on the 29th this month. i think i'll feel empty when i leave utm. i loved this place. really brought the man out of me. i've learnt so much here that i felt relutant to leave. but life goes on. it's just another chapter of life which i enjoyed and i have to forward. MBA - that's where my life is going after that...doing something which i wanted since i was young. economics and politics.
well, think i should stop here. i think i bore everyone away...hahaha.
LiEw, xXx
()
Annoying Weather
it's hot but it's cold at my place. that sounds stupid. ok, let me put it this way, there's a hot sun outside but it's windy so it's pretty cold. it doens't look like it's cold but it feels cold. i think now i sound more stupid. forget it
argh...i think my brains cannot get used to this type of weather.i'm not typing well and i'm not thinking right either...sigh.
well, today's V day. i've got a birthday celebration later tonight. so i'm not going anywhere. (even if i don't celebrate the birthday, i have nowhere to go either...so it doesn't matter much) i went for class today. many of my classmates skipped the class because they CLAIMED they've got a date. har, i don't believe them. i think that's just another way to say 'i-don't-want-to-go-to-class-cause-the lecturer's-teaching-in-english-and-i-can't-understand-english-cause-i-don't-know-english-cause-my mom-sent-me-to-a-chinese-school-and-english-is-too-chicken-shit-for-me-take!'. ah well, at least they covered it pretty well.
poor Loi, his girlfriend went to kl today. course trip. the lecturer wants to have a trip to times square so they took the whole class along...haha.
i don't feel right in this type of irritating weather. i think i need to sleep.
LiEw, xXx
(Friday, February 13, 2004)
grrrrrr...cold.
it's not raining and it's cold.
well, someone invaded into my tiny little peaceful world yerterday, pissed me off. insult me in fornt of my friends. i think some people need to learn manners and learn manners and they have to do it quick before more people angry. i hate it when people invade my privacy...
i love being in my cold little room. it smells a little funny but it's the safest place i could be. when i'm lonely, i think there's something about my room that makes me feel secured. i don't really understand where is the logic in that...if my room is big and spacious then i won't really feel weird saying that. but my room is small. i think anyone with clastrophobic might not last ten minutes in my room...
i think there's a 'safe place' for everyone. you know, a place where everyone feels secured in...that place might be anywhere. beach, hill, temple, church, italy...wherever. everyone's got a reason to chose their own safe hideout place. i've got a friend who likes this coffee shop a lot. whenever she feels sad, she'll just go there and sit there for hours with her novels or reading materials. when i asked her why she chose the place, she just smiled at me and said 'it's simply comfortable. and no one knows who i am'. haha. and micole likes to go to the beach whenever she feels down...frankly, i don't really want to go anywhere when i'm down. it's suchhhhhhh a long journey...even to the nearest jusco...
LiEw, xXx
p/s i wonder if everyone really does have a safe shelter?
(Thursday, February 12, 2004)
Internet Pilgrims
songs i want to listen to now
1. freshmen by verve pipe
2. death of optimus prime by damn dirty apes
3. 1979 - smashing pumpkins
4. some jazz stuff.
i'm so tired now. went for some birthday celebration. i regretted that i even went out. should have stayed home and finish my movie. it was more like a subject meeting rather than a talk. everyone was talking about studies, studies and more studies. can't they just not talk about serious issues when we're out? i suppose they're weird.
i got another celebration this saturday. same stuff. but this time with my housemate. no work talk i hope. sigh
i'm going to sleep.
LiEw, xXx
()
Weight: 63 kg
Height: 169 cm
Feeling: excited and confused
Alcohol intake: NIL (still)
Location: my room in my apartment in JB.
guess what? i saw eleanor today. but i didn't get to speak to her.
my room is in chaos right now. it smells weird. things are around the floor and worse still, things are on my bed too. i need to think of some way to get my lazy ass up and clean up the room as soon as possible...
V day is around the corner. has anyone actually noticed how people do during valentine's day? guys wil take the girls out for fancy dinner, shower them with fancy flowers and etc. to most people, it's a once in a year thingy. same with mother's day and father's day. so everyone thinks that it's fine to spend the money like that...just to make them happy. but how about the rest of the year? some people like my stupid uncle only comes and see my grandma once a year or he needs money. if you treat someone like crap for a whole year and on this very 'special' day, you give them 'special' treatment. what's the point in that? can't you just make them feel happy for the rest of the year and on special occasion, you celebrate it moderately?
basically, i think valentine's day is a waste of time and money and it's OVERATED. girls expecet guys to shower them with flowers and gifts. if your spouse makes you feel special all year long, you don't really need the assurance on Valentine's Day. what? to make you know that you're really really special and the phrase 'special' is not enough?
then there are girls who expects single guys like to me know when is valen'fucking'tine's day. why the fuck in the earth do you fucking care? if you're attached and you're happy, please leave the single guys like me alone for once. i've got better things to do than to let you give me lectures on how to court a girl. in other words, please fuck the hell off...
my friends are giving very annoying valentine's day signal to everyone. where is your valentine? where will you celebrate? who is your date? what you gonna wear? i think i'm going to puke if someone mentions about valentine's day in front of me again. losers...
(Tuesday, February 10, 2004)
Chained
added some new pictures and links into here today. hopefully people will go to the link and read about what's happening around the world. the world is not for ourselves. if everyone does not care about everyone anymore, humanity is lost. what is left of something that used to be called human anymore???
Zoe called today. said she wants to get a car by herself. budget around 50k. can't really think of a suitable car to say to her. her old car is giving some minor problems (10 year old proton). here's what she wants:
-something that's around 50k
-she wants to use it for a long time (at least 5 years)
-it's good if it's a sedan. (family car)
-does not consume so much fuel
i really don't know what to tell her...basically i just told her that she should not get a proton if she wants to use it for a long time. the 2nd hand value for proton cars is not that good after some years. then i made her more confused about getting car. now instead of thinking of what car to get, she has to figure out whether to change her car or not...
maybe cause she started working, i never have to think about these kind of problems. feeling a little lucky about this. i'm still trying not to get into the real world yet...i can't take all the commitments and all the resposibility. hopefully i don't have to worry about what cars and everything else in another 2 years.
i'm doing stuff for my good friend, Hong today. there's some suddenly change in his thesis report and i have to help him summarize some of his work. i hate doing things with technical terms which i don't understand. i have never even heard about things he's doing and now i have to summarize work stuff for him. worse still, i have to translate all his english technical terms into english. frankly, i don't know how or what am i suppose to do tonight for him...i hope i can help. (where is the my humanity if i can't help a friend in need)
and i went out for dinner for dinner with Bi Yan. i really appriciate her giving me her laptop for the weekend even though she has work. that's really sweet of her. at first i wanted to buy her some cheap skate dinner but i changed my mind at last. went to Nando's with her and had some chickens. (i'm sure my mom has something to say when i say i had chickens) i hope she enjoyed the meal. i can't really express how grateful i was.
LiEw
p/s - do i really have to be so kind all the time???
(Monday, February 09, 2004)
Cigars and the assignments
*scratches head
could sleep well last night. factor = eleanor. i think i'll sleep well tonight or i won't sleep at all. tomorrow's my big day. big time test. i hope i have sufficient knowledge to do well this time. last time was ok and i hope i do better...
i went to see Dr. Wan today. He's moved into a new office and everything there was such a mess because of the unfinished renovation. talked to him about lots of things aside from the official thess stuff. before i leave, i gave him one of the cigars i bought the other day. sadly, he don't really smoke cigars...but he kept it anyways...(cheers)
Dr. Wan is staying in KL permenently and won't be going back to JB at anytime soon. and he's got an empty house in JB. (laughing happily) he says he'll rent it to us for 800 bucks. bangalow, 4 rooms, 3 baths and the best of all, it's nowhere near to utm so i don't have to eat lunch with stupid university students ever again...
great news; he's got a topic for my master's thesis project. but i'm not sure whether i would want to take my master's degree in utm. basically, i want to do something else. maybe finance. that would get me a little closer to my dreams. i'm not greedy but i do want my future to go right path i've chosen instead of the path i'm offered...
and my dad gave me his car for the day. i don't really like driving his car...whenever you drive you'll feel the preasure pressing onto your chest and your heart *bup *bup *bup. beats 3-4 times faster than it should. if i take his car out often enough, i think i might have a MAJOR heart attack...or stroke or some deadly vital disease caused by shock, stress and preasure. i hate driving!
i hate it when i have to leave kl. it's my mom. she gives me THE look. you know the type of look that got a lot of messages in it. i know she misses me and i miss my mom too. this might be the last time i'm going back to JB. after that i think i might station in kl for another 2 years.
drafting my plans after graduation too. i'm going to penang to club. then i'm going to ipoh to eat and hopefully i will get to meet jenny there and my sister too...then back to kl or back to jb.
i only have 2 cigars left. 1 for my graduation, 1 for Zoe. then i'm not gonna smoke anymore.
i have to go to the bank now. need to bank some money in....
LiEw, xxx
(Sunday, February 08, 2004)
Eleanor
drip!
drip!
drip!
sigh...
it was raining outside. this is the first time i don't actually enjoy the the rain. feeling a bit empty today.
i was reading for my test. i think i finished but i should read again. i need good pointers to go somewhere. i'll do that later tonight.
i bought something for eleanor today. hope she'll like it. it's something that i always wanted to get for her but i haven't got chance to. i'll give it to her when i see her. which is around the middle of march. i hope she likes it. and i really hope i can see her soon. i don't think i can hold it any longer anymore. i need to an answer fast. i hate hanging in the middle of nowhere like this.
i forgot how eleanor looks likes today. i could only recall some tiny fractions. maybe i should call her out...neh! it's too soon. i need to finish this semester first. i don't want anything to disturb my concentration on studies. i can't afford to. eleanor would be dissappointed if i give up now because of her. argh. i'm having a dilemma here...
drip!
drip!
drip!
drip!
LiEw, xXx
()
ASCENSION
And if i go,
while you're still here...
Know that i lve on,
vibrating to a different measure
- behind a thin veil you cannot see through
You will not see me,
so you must have faith
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
- both aware of each other
Until then, live your life to its fullest
And when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart
...I will be there
found it in a book i read. i got no idea why i wrote it here but it touched me when i read it...i hope it does to everyone else.
(Saturday, February 07, 2004)
bleh! don't feel like writing.
bleh! bleh! bleh!
()
Venessa
everytime i get home, Venessa don't really welcome my presence. she hates me. well, at least i think she does. Venessa is my dear cat. the rebel in my family. she can pratically do anything to anyone without getting scolded. she's like a living princess in my family. and she hates me cause i don't like it when she goes out a lot. She's a persian cat. my mom and dad takes her like a human rather than a cat. (i think they spoiled the cat) and when Venessa goes out, she some one might catch her and bring her back to their own home...so everytime she goes out, i'll yell at her. she hates me a lot. she's a bit different this time. when i came back, she glanced at me and DIDN"T walk away. for the first time in what, 8 years. then she kind of 'miew' at me. ahahahaha. i was felt so comfortable. must not get carried away. maybe she's got some new strategy up her sleeves. well, i'm not going to yell at her this time. it's my holsidays. people don't yell at anything on holidays
i went to the town today. went to look at by bang & Olufsen earphones. the sales person was no nice...he let me put em' on. then he switched on the music for me...perfecto! but there's a problemo. the price went up...for about a hundred bucks...it was 400 then and now it's 495.
:(
what am i going to do? i need more money, i need more money. i'm still think whether to get it or not. the sound was pretty good too. clear sound. fancy design. extension cable. dammit! i'm getting it...
i took Monorail into the town today. i hate driving. especially my dad's car. so my dad dropped me off the comuter station and i took comuter to kl sentral and after that i took monorail to sungei wang. i have several complains
1) why the hell in the world is the monorail station not attached to kl sentral? it's so near they might as well link it into kl sentral
2) why in the earth the bloody monorail is not air-conditioned? we're not in europe you know, we're in malaysia. malaysia is HOT. the monorail station was so hot, waiting for that train to come makes it feel twice as long...i wish they could just install come fans or air-con instead of the giant LCD tv. people can't watch giant LCD tv when they're sweating like piggggggs.
other than that, i think the journey was pretty awesome. i love taking public transport. saves time looking for parking spots, saves fuel, saves tol money, saves parking fare. cool...and i got right to the destination i want. (not exactly. it stopped at sungei wang. i wanted to go starhill. but close enough!!!)
i'm gonna stop. my dad wants to watch tv. i'm going to watch tv with my mom and dad. family time people!!! first priority...
()
MY BUS RIDE
i think this is the only time that i actually enyoyed my bus ride back to kl. i managed to sleep. that was an achivement for me. a big one too. i have never slept in front of people unless i need to. i was jamming my ear with 2pac and then next thing i know, i was in Yong Peng. then after that i doze off again. Malacca. doze off, Seremban. then i called Ngai Hoe (ma bro...) cause he wants to pick me up from the bus station.
then after that i was fully awake. i took a good look around me and there was pretty babes around me. 1 indian beside me. and two malays in front. hahaha. i have never had such a great ride back home before. then it was the weather. it was good that the sky's dark. then it started raining...i love the rain makes me feel so good. dark and rainy days is the best. nothing beats that...
i got home and there's fruits around the house. staying outside means you don't buy fruits for yourself cause it's expensive. then i had oranges. bananas.
taking a bath at home is wonderful. you get high pressured water to brush of all the bad days and bad hours you have in utm. then you get nice smelling shampoo. i think i showered for 1 hours. really really fun taking shower at home.
then it's my room. my friends all love my room. bleh. it's nice but i think my johore room is better. small and nice. the room in JB is so small, you can't even more your ass cause it's so jammed with my stuff...but i just love it. it's the only place i want to be when i'm in johore. maybe cause it's cold...
well, i need to get some shut eyes again. i think i'm addicted to sleeping
LiEw, xXx
(Friday, February 06, 2004)
Hey it's still EARLY. my bus is at 3.45 now it's 2.21. i still have lotsa time to pack? YEAH. so i can write some more. [inner self, 'pack LiEw...pack!']
i DON"T want go back...ar. if only i don't have so see my Dr. Wan in kl. have to submit my thesis draft for him to look at. haven't seen him for a while. we have a rule in my university. everyone must see their thesis supervisor as often as they can to give him their thesis updates. i only saw Dr. W in Penang once this whole semester. [inner self, 'pack LiEw...pack!']
it's a hot day outside. hope it'll rain soon. i hate bus rides. when you want to go to the loo, they won't stop. they stop at a certain place. so you must really know yourself to not get into trouble. then there is always the weird weird people that's in the bus. everyone gives me the weird look...i think it's because i give people weird look also. [inner self, 'pack LiEw...pack!']
i need to tell my dad to get me air tickets from kl back to JB. if not i might dieeeeee. another 5 hours of torture in the bus. [inner self, 'pack LiEw...pack!']
talking about me dad. he hasn't bank in money for me yet. i'm surviving on absolutely nothing now. my mom says that my dad gave me the money already. maybe it's not here yet. i just have to stay calm....uarghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. no money no money no money. i'm going crazee. all these thesis crap and friends problem is going to make me lose my mind soon. maybe i really do need to spend some nice and quite time at home. eat my favorite food. basically everything that is on the kitchen table is my favorite food.
ops shit. i haven't told my mom i'm going home today.
LiEw's thesis finding :-
home = mom
mom + kitchen = food.
food = LiEw's favorite.
if mommy don't know i'm going home = mom - kitchen = no food.
no food = LiEw starve!
apart from dumb things that's in my head, i don't know what else to write.
LiEw, xXx
()
Weight: 65 kg
Height: 169 cm
Feeling: Sleepy and nothing else matters
Alcohol intake: NIL
Location: JB (will be in KL after 5 hours)
Going back to kl today! yeah! well, wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. i'm so freakin tired. i tried packing my stuff minute ago but for some silly reasons, i'm still glued to the internet and my computer. argh. i need a life.
i'm going to pack after this. no matter what.
G called. i was supposed to drop by her place before i'm go back. then when i called her last night she sounded a little bit reluctant so i bought the bus ticket straight to kl instead of driving to malacca. she's going toback to aussie soon and i'm going to miss her. ohhh...well, i still have Zoe and Meng. hahaah. they're gonna keep me occupied still she comes back...i hope.
something strange happened lately. well, everyone i know is not in a very good condition. Except Zoe.
one of their's had some problem with work stuff. she lost some money. a lot actually.
one of them is having some dilemma
one of them wants to see me but i can't go her place cause she gave me the wrong signal.
one of them was crying (or was having a great orgasm) when i called and she couldn't even speak
one them them can't finish the thesis work
one of of them is having some terrible flu
that's just part of it. i think i've been pretty lucky lately. i wish things will go well for everyone.
think i'm gonna stop here. i need to pack
well, there IS something else. nevermind. i'm going to pack my stuff, wait for Itik to come and have my mind set to go home, sleep in comfy air-con room, call some friends, watch astro...bleh 5 hours bus trip!!!
