sound//noise
(Tuesday, November 29, 2005)
well, i'm back, after a long day. as usual, a routine trip to penang again. photos above are taken from the trip.
but today was somehow more interesting. i had one of those ala bbc's top gear episodes on my way back, my banged up car going up against honda accord 2.4 vtec on a highway challenge. rally the highway in a heavy rain for a good hour. engineered to be catalyst for a stuggling performance test on the brakes, tyres and engine.
not really an excuse to speed, mind you, but more of an attempt to curb my enthusiasm, to do humanity a service, not to mention the mass boredom was treatening to inflict which indefinately will drive me crazy, my only choice was i certainly had to give it a try and coincidently a honda tailgaited me for the fuck of it. holla to that bastard honda that positively agitated my ass for no concrete reasons.
the challenge ended prematurely. one of the two cars gave up halfway even before most critical nonsensical comments like 'the accord accelerates faster than a raging turkey!' or 'the superb sedan is so easy to manuveur, even grandmas can participate in rally races!!!' were made available. the bloke was doing fine and all at first, but he had to give way for sudden bowel inconsistency or weak bladder (insert the one you think sounds better)
verdict: black honda drivers have weak bladders, blimey!
judgement of the pink elephant.
(Sunday, November 27, 2005)"The contemplation of beauty causes the soul to grow wings." - Plato
after a while, don't you think the word beauty is overated, overused, somewhat over-indulged? if one thing the world has in common, we're all shallow morons for the word beautiful. which reminds me, that song from james blunt, i think it's a sort of classical piece propaganda that sucks you into mind-mapping you're actually something when you're just another ugly unpopular boring person like the rest of the world. c'mon, lying to oneself is lower than faking an orgasm.
oh yeah, and i most personally think the word fuck is critically under-used. and pussy and cunt and all the rest of the dear vulgars i could not mention.
keepin' it real.
(Monday, November 21, 2005)when it comes to the real world, i actually have more than plenty to rant about. not that i actually prefer some happily ever after bullshit, come to think of it, i love watching disney cartoons on the fucking tele for the happily ever after gibberish.
anyway, the whole point is, the real world doesn't start the moment you first jerk off at a paris hilton (then pamela anderson) home video but more likely to hit you right after you finish college. in my opinion, the real world is just an interpretation of a massive madmen (or women, if you're sexist) gathering. clearly out of alignment on the mental portion of the mind. take for example, i met a rotten wanker this morning who just has got a doctrine to mind fuck random people to earn some demerit for a peaceful night's sleep. for 2 hours, the kook cooked up numerous attempts to drive you bonkers by unfashionably ask you to talk about what you do continuously, in which at the same fucking moment, he pays no attention but keep on saying 'go on...don't stop, what else?'.
enough about one lunatic, then on the afternoon, there's a bunch of stark raving mad engineers whom i think should just put on a fucking wonder women costume to work and call themselves mary or kelly. no offense to all marys and kellys out there but they were rare collection of over-meticulous undecisive mislead morons that knows nuts about everything but still thinks that it'd make the world a better place if they just bake something out of nothing to look great. say if someone tells them giving head to pandas would arouse panda's sex needs, they'd try to show you 20 different ways of giving a blowjob to a panda without validating the facts but won't do it themselves cause panda might just have aids. everyone knows aids come from killer whales, dammit!
then this dumbass bitch who works for nikon but doesn't know what the fuck a product recall means but still sits on the counter, looking disconcertingly but nonchalantly under-informed, what the fuck was she bloody thinking i wonder, probably. employees with infinite repertoire in ignorance will be capped at the back of the fish brain if they were lucky enough to be in china or russia during communist era. but i'd rather tied her onto a banana tree and poke her head every 5 seconds while repeating the facts verbally, simply to scar the goddamn information to her until she finally digs it.
sluggish
(Sunday, November 20, 2005)
i've always favour autumn more than other seasons. but our climate caveats any autumnal signs of sort.
fact is, the ultimate bronze autumn finally has to move aside to give way to the goddamn cruel icy winter.
damning beauty, eloping into enmity and peril.
soon, but not yet.
fuck.
principal of rage
(Tuesday, November 15, 2005)believe me, going out of town for two bloody days for one too many tete-a-tetes with a some strangers that you just need to meet gives you high blood pressure. especially, when you're trying to talk them into something that they have no idea about but still tend to callowly reason with you, it's like they fucking have an opinion on everything that they have no idea about. to give in for an urge to purge a profanity level thought just for the fuck of it. but then i didn't wait till the heart attack attend me before i bolted from the north side. one more day there, i bloody well think i'll gonna end up in a mental ward, because i chew off some cunt's tongue or eyes.
the journey home wasn't prolong but it took almost forever to reach home. all the incests on the world had suddenly uncap an irresistable temptation to fucking kill themselves by ramming into my windshield in the dark. like fossiling themselves on my car seems to the coolest shit ever all of a fucking sudden. it's not cool dammit, i suppose i can't take the attention that they're spooning me (or my car in this case) with. there were moths, mothafucking 6 legged dead i-don't-know-whats, huge ass ants with wings, and all the other fucking weirdos, for all i care. the car looks like it's been gang-rape by a massive indelible kamikaze insect bunch, stronger and bigger than the bunch of massive japanese wankers who kamifuckingkazed pearl habour. (i still think the japs only won cause the hippie rednecks were too drunk to even have an erection)
well in conclusion, i'm home and the northeners are a bunch of morose pompous wankers. end of story
sibeh aggrevated.
(Saturday, November 12, 2005)(disclaimer: i'm doing this for a giraffe. fuck all, i'm a sucker for giraffes ok.)
you know hor, i'ma just realised that our lives are basically surrounded by a wave of overexpection leh. because we see movie on the big screen in 1U loh. because we see cinema everything also very perfect ma. the hair is perfect, the body is perfect, everything lah. nabeh, like that we die lah. our police is not like he-man or superman mar, they kena tembak will die wan you know. but in TGV 1U, they cannot die wan, like jackie chan. wahlaueh so we also sohai sohai think malaysia mahtau cannot die wor...sei mou? cibai, they got sibeh keng cop leh!
last time hor, my friend a playboy hor told me he got kiss kiss with this girl belakang of the mamak, then he said no lomantic wan leh. he see people tiu hai in toilet in the tv very syiok wan leh, nabeh he said where got people tiu hai in very very dirty toilet wan? smell a bit already also cannot stem how to tiu hai? but he also say correct la, angmoh in movies tiu hai in toilet got music very very lomantic wan mch, but we all tiu hai toilet in the mamak got people kicking the door la, people yell fuck-fuck outside la, knn. wan some peace and quiet also kenot. cannot wait meh, chun toi?
so the more we see tv, the more we want high-high expectation in live loh. people got snow la, people got big big stars and moon in their sky, go main in the rain cannot get sick wan, chao hai, you try to main in the rain and see, tomorrow sure got fever until like wan to die like that. see, all that hollywood people all got many much money and live in banga-low with swimming poo and we still stay in small small papan house, paying for their cun movies. walaneh, i think it's not fair lo, they live like with many money because they show us a life we kenot have mar. everyday and night also we dream we want to kiss under very big big stars, gf with 36DD, bf got 10 inch lanciao and drive felali.
but knn-mch-pukimak-cibaiiii we never get that wan. chun toi, think already also very sad. like want to kill myself liao.
ready, set, go!
(Thursday, November 10, 2005)like the beginning off all typical stories, it all starts with a chuck of boredom bigger than typical ass crack.
mine starts by having the best friend calling me a pervert for 2 straight days not knowing why. like you know, 'you pervert!'. being platonic friends with zoe for ages, i have no idea what the fucking hell she was trying to hint. if you call that hinting. so i thought she might have meant it in a complimentary way; 'like wow, you perv, your porn collection is overwhelming...LIEW, YOU PERV, rawrrrr!'
ok, i take that back. what the fuck was i thinking. not that.
so i had to live in the endeavour of mental misery and torment for 30 something hours, not fucking knowing why did the best friend mean by officially annoucing that i'm a fucking pervert. hey, i am a pervert (hell yeah!) but you don't have to remind me every 20 minutes that i'm one...that's not politically right. like if you fart in an elevator, you don't go telling the hot redhead next to you that you've just decreased your bowel pressure. it's redundant. people will know anyways.
so i gave up and assure myself that zoe might have the impression that i'm watching porn every moment of my life so i'm a big fucking pervert. and in that case, i do so, fair enough, case close. the end.
as assurring as the thought might be, it is visibly a self taught denial assumption i've medicated upon. living in denial is more comforting than being in a pool with girls in see-through bikini. then i checked the mail that zoe had asked me to read for a thousand times since monday for no significant reason at all.
then i saw the this photo.
there you go. my eyes rading into the rachel's chest. the classic euphorical pervert facial expression, remained in a frame.
i got an explanation.
my eyes suddenly went riot because some dust from the air flew into it and i had to get the right angle for air condition to wash (blow) away the dust, which explains the tilted head. touching the eyes with germful unwashed fingers is downright unhygenic. the occurred expression because i'm getting a blow job from the air-conditioning system, which in the end, manage to wash of the dirt.
the fucking end.
(Tuesday, November 08, 2005)when it comes to having a dozen good friends and half a dozen of best friends, (although some are commonly known as to be less significant the rest, and they know who they are, yes?) the problem really starts when you have some gargatuan issue to annouce to them, like, you know, when your golden retriever gave birth to a bunch of whiny little itsy fucking bitchy doggies or when your pet giraffe gave you an ultimate 4 golden lottery winning numbers while you were cleaning up his shit or the time when your grandma's kinky friends try to bone your evil step-brother.
the big question is, who would have the grandeur, pioneering the witness to such exotic broadcast? more accurately, who's the most important friend that float the heirarchy the other gazzilion cunts that you actually do know, whether it's by your bloody preferance or not. so basically, choosing specifically a more important friend, shall mutely degrade and discriminate, carving them as apprehensively mild minorities label, hurling them further into as a lower form of social outcast, even though they could hardly pass for anywhere a mile to ordinary and a bug's life is uncontestedly more pleasureable. and as a result, they will fucking loathe you for the rest of their dorky morose uneventful life cause they've got nothing better to think about. however, if you do not fucking inform THE best friend, he/she will fucking crucify you and feed you to a bunch of loving-looking squirrels for dessert in the park with this rotten green lake. so what the fuck do you do?
more or less a cul-de-sac, innit?
i is not a puppet.
(Sunday, November 06, 2005)fucking hell, zoe is back.
***
let me start with first half of the night. i went to gan's to get some gabe's stuff. she's been lying there for a week, fatigued and lack of usual activities. fuck all, i hate to see her lying around like that, suffering from abstinence of activity. oh well, we're going for a road trip tomorrow. wherever the fucking hell that might fucking be.
my car ran out of petrol for the third fucking time in 3 day's span. (oh well, you can't fucking complain cause if you're using like a banged up car that's not really yours, eh?) so i went to the petrol station to get some fuel. and fucking cunt, the caltex pump is extremely sluggish. i think 30 bucks of fuel takes about 10 minutes to go in. almost double the time that of usual petrol activity. so i went outside the petrol station with gabe and stood there like a reporter idiot under the fucking rain. not like i was gonna snap any photos and shit but i just want to fucking drench myself in the rain a little, and at the same time anticipating rach's call. since rach was supposed to have something on and she didn't call, i went back home to sleep.
for the first time since last week, i managed to hike onto the bed before 1am. more like 10muthafuckingpm at night. you know, just to recuperate and have some decent high flying dreams and interupted sleep. then i get all these rapid roll-over images of everything i sincerely have no fucking interest in. as a result, like any other normal human being, i couldn't fall asleep immediately. when i've fallen asleep, nightmares were crashing into me, conjugaling some fucking mellowdramatic and fearful lack of reality gravity. like it couldn't be worst, i got a message from tze yee at 3am telling me she's in singapore. then i just kept on wondering what the hell is she doing there subconsciously, even while i was sleeping. then i dreamt that i'm making plans to visit her. with some ponies and sheeps and giraffes.
this is shit, muthafucker.
new fashioned obese hijackers.
(Wednesday, November 02, 2005)how is it possible that i have more social events on the raya than other my pathetic weekends? although i claim myself to be a strong believer of islamic beliefs, but that doesn't make sense compared to the amount of things that's been absorbed on my raya week. i've got movies and drinking parties and drive-by with a semi-auto glock and uninteresting must-go dinner and alumi gathering and lunch appointments and book shopping again (hopefully, if the deutsche princess with a missing tiara is nice enough to take me) and wedding parties and illegal street racing gathering. well i think i made my point quiet accurately.
i'm not really complaining but i can't really cope with the contrast of last year's lacking. you see, i was sitting on my lawn for 3 hours, doing some fucking gardening with only my pink boxers on and not a single car passed by previous aidilfitri. even the fucking mosquitos and roaches were significantly unseen, awol, gone, missing, hilang, pukimak. (oh yes, they have to bloody well inform me if they were to visit their relative in port dickson or lumut, dammit) try and create a mental picture of the quiet calamity and even a saint would go cuckoo.
therefore, i'm still trying to do regenerate trackbacks on when and why the fuck did i single mindedly inform every soul with the slightest string of social connection with me that 'we should fucking go out on raya!!!'? gosh, and i'm not meeting anybody muslim in that matter. us malaysian are amazing, we can celebrate on everyone else's religious benchmark. technically, we never gave a fuck, all holidays should be celebrated without a sense of religious emphasis and bias. righty-o. all those great words to masquerade a callow truth; we are truly celebration-malnourished wankers that just feels like celebrating anyone shit. and we do love public holidays so fucking much.
to all the muslims that's celebrating raya and all the non-muslims that is hijacking other's celebration with debonair - cheers!
the gathering.
(Tuesday, November 01, 2005)i have to say it's been a good week.
long holiday week is fun. working is shit. and to think that i actually have to work all day long tomorrow. though long thick sentences of profanity is the exact best way depict my disappointment towards my demanding working chorus, i shall not use vulgar words to sing the requiem of my distant social life, held hostage by the bloody work.
cause we're all good. aren't we?
