missing person.
(Saturday, November 18, 2006)
there was a recent survey on radio - who's the next big action hero of our era? the answer sort of boiled back to vin diesel and this other dude whose name i don't bother to remember. to me, there isn't anyone suitable to be an action hero anymore. daniel craig can have 20,ooo orgasms fucking horses while waiting but he will not ever make to the action hero hall of fame. that fucking wanker.
now...i'm not out to diss daniel craig. he's just an ugly fuck with a face far less emotional than a fucking plank. there's a sort of hollywood culture going about which i don't really fancy having around, not the hot chicks, but the kind of effort they make to ignite and justify an establish character's background. add some feel and emotional into it so that they don't look crude.
take James Bond. the vodka martini shaken not stirred british hero cum playa' which we all know. he a pimp, he's basically a tank to his foes. now why the fuck in the natural celestial logic do we need to know where the fuck he came from? everytime someone wonders where Bond came from, his answer is either to kill a bad guy, roll some communist with a tank or fuck some chick and the very thought disappears. if the thought revoked again, he's probably chewing on a terrorist's guts, which then it's so fucking cool you forget about yet again. someone with character doesn't need a past. statistically, almost every movie franchise that try explaining all that history shit after a successful chapter just rocked into an endless pit of the damned.
so a no brainer movie would garner more attention (plus dough) comparing to a mind twisting one. so what defines a good movie hero? here's a few suggestions that i humbly believe would help:
1) how must they look like?
if it's a chap, he's got to be not ugly. hell he can have a pencil dick for all i care, but NOT UGLY. so daniel craig is out. in the case where it's a women, she's got to look great next even white taking a dump, sexy outfit but nothing too radical like cat-woman, which was top of the table ugly too. both must not fall in love nor fucking have emotions. who the wants wants to care how superman got his first laid or his annoying pathetic monotonous love with lois lane.
2) what will happen to them if they don't fall in love?
fuck all. they're here to save the world, clean the street and all that jack, not fuck out women.
3) what about sex?
oh, that, easy, every of those action hero movies must come with an orgy scene. batman & spiderman tag team sex with all girls from a college or a state. catwoman and wonderwoman orgy with James Bond for all i care. sex scenes make or break a movie. take some jeena jameson porn for example.
4) any other?
if possible, bad habits help. junkie spiderman, chain-smoking batman, alcoholic Bond. it'll definately make them more shady and interesting.
that would do. i think my brains are dying on me.
