more junk for the obese schizoid
(Saturday, August 27, 2005)
i'm so bored, for the past hour, i setup a toe wiggle competition between my left and right foot. obviously the leftie won. righties are buncha wankers. proves that more than 80% of the worldwide population are wankers. but we do know that don't we? now i'm a bane to all righties, by noon, a group of special-ops (righties) will jump out of a sliding door van with a pantyhose on the faces attempt to masquerade their pathetic provocating appearance and kidnap me so they can torture the shit out of the poor soul and and slowly hack away my organs while i'm watching them in order to regain retribution.
however, the post is not about the details regarding the aforementioned battle between the toes, no. the method is too knotty to be explained. there's no way to go through it briefly. the whole process will make relativity theory sounds like ABC.
this is the 300th post by the way. and still nobody reads this shit. tomorrow i have to grovel my friends re-visit my site so that i'll probably get meself 45,000 hits on a day. i would prefer to resort to bribing or blackmailing. the way of the thug is nontheless more effective subterfudge.
the 300th post special. the avant garde moments of the film industry (or rather the films that i have watched)
Carigula and Kids: the whole movie is a moment
Cruel Intentions: sarah michelle french selma blair and while their part, there was this thread of sliver in between their lips. that's fucking disgusting.
Along Came Polly: ben stiller gets a face wash from a fat sweaty man's tummy which he way playing basketball with. the fat bloke just slide his sweaty tits and tummy on ben's face.
There's Something About Mary: ben stiller's penis got stuck in between his zipper and then the whole fucking country came over to show some concern.
Black Hawk Down: this soldier's thumb got shot off while he tried to pick up his gun which slipped.
Terminator 2: Arnold saying "Hastalavista, baybeh" before he blows the other dude up.
The Godfather: When Marlon Brando says "i'll make him and offer he couldn't refuse" to this film producer (Jack Woltz) that refuses to cast his god son (Johnny Fontane) in his new movie. then the next thing Jack Woltz know, he woke up with his most precious horse's bleeding head on his bed. instant classic.
Van Wilder: Guy drinking a whole cup of dog cum.
Trainspotting: instead of their private sextape Gail and Tommy ended up with
Greatest Football Moments because Renton took and replaced it with the footie video. definately a moment there.
Pulp Fiction: John Travolta accidentally blew up guy's head and painted the rear windshield with his brains. then they had to clean it up. hahahahaha
Sin City: Bruce Willis shot the child kidnapper on the dick.
Matrix: Neo answering a phone call that came from a courier package. the phone looks so good, till today.
Titanic: guy hitting the fan of the ship of the before falling into the sea. i had to go through 3 hours of misery for that quarter second scene.
Underworld: Kate Beckinsale cornered by werewolves and she stunningly blew a raunchy hole on the concrete floor to escape. if that ain't great, i don't know what is...
Starwars: "Luke, i am your father..."
Japanese Porn: the girls.
