test subject no. 14, please come forward.
(Sunday, June 26, 2005)
disclaimer - DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
don't say i didn't tell you so. yesterday, after much waiting and anticipation i longed for, finally, i had a chance to perform some experiment regarding the myths on how you can cure hangover (i didn't know how i got myself wasted while talking to someone who's just broke up). so, basically i experimented everything on myself to get the perfect cure for hangovers.
thing is, we're always stuck on the third party information; friend's friend told me friend so, my dog's homie told me dog, flatmate's ex girlfriend, magazine like cleo and etc. what bonkers is these information good for if it's not confirmed?
so i took full advantage of the tragedy and decided to turn it into a opportunity. to see myself not suffering the exact misery in years to come.
the first hand hangover experimentdate: June 25, 2005
timeframe: 7.05 am - 11.30 pm
research methodology: take whatever's available in the kitchen and gulp it down.
results (on the left, the red bold words are the test subjects took by the author and on the right, the result of the test subject)
1)
water (h20) - made me vomit.
2)
lime juice, lemon juice - i still purge like usual. ewww!
3)
panadol/painkillers/aspirin - cannot.
4)
100 plus - instantly made me puke the fuck outta myself! but i feel hydrated after that. isn't that good news.
5)
chee cheong fun - it made me feel better for 5 minutes. it replenishes the puking content in my stomach for 5 minutes, then i barf it all out again. hey, you gotta have something to puke on right?
6)
red bull - i would definately shoot the pimp who told me it'd work. the whole morning never felt so foul.
7)
fruits/vegetables/greens - uh uh, nooooo sir!
8)
ginger tea, green tea etc - yet another myth. dammit. (dan, i'm gonna fucking get you for this!)
9)
candies - sweet but nuisanse
10)
vitamin a, b, d, d, e - it failed termondously.
11)
aerosol and rat poison - THE ULTIMATE. i assure you that. it'll probably take you life with you. i didn't took supplement no. 11. and i am glad i didn't.
12)
vinegar - it worked a little.
13)
honey (as in bee's honey, not the person) - bahhhhhh!
14) cigarettes - i took it in my hand and then i remember i don't know how to smoke. go on,
mock me, i deserve every bit of that. i won't blame you.
15) urine - you don't think i'd buy that would you?
16) some chinese medicine for diarrhea - *shakes head*
17) sweating activities (jogging, squash, etc) - rubbish. i almost fainted. (ok, maybe i have bad stamina and it was 4 in the afternoon)
18) milk - it did little help too. (milo is not milk ok, and when i say milk, it's fresh milk, not condensed milk please)
19) chili/pepper/spicy things - it -urned ngai tong (it burned my tongue)
19)
more alcohol!!! (i.e whiskey) - hahahahahahah. i puked the fuck outta myself soon after but i felt good and happy and went to sleep.
20)
hot blonde & lap dance - took my mind off the hangover for quite a while i must say.
did i miss anything? i certainly hope not.
conclusion:
1) 100 plus is 1.50 a can and it went out as fast as it goes in.
2) chee cheong fun still looks the same after i puked it out.
3) there's no cure to hangovers whatsoever. so, buckle up, drink less and may the soberness be with you.
4) at the end of the day, i didn't know whether i felt bad because i had so many things at the same day or it was because of the hangover. well, i sure as hell can't plan shit cause i was having a hangover.
5) hangover is a very good excuse to sit down and do nothing.
the end. have a nice day.
