(Thursday, January 06, 2005)
song of the moment: Basement Jaxx - Good Luck
something amazing happened today and i feel so great, i'd love to tell somebody, not anybody. coincidently, myn wee came online so i conviniently told her everything in a not-so-refined way. instead of getting the i'm so fucking happy for you reply which i was more or less expecting, she called me bodoh (stupid in english), then hoboh (i don't know what that means) followed by words like pffft, no fair, fuck off, what the fuck!!!, fuck you, lucky bastard...i wonder if she'll say that to me if she wasn't the first one to know. what a fucking turn-off!!!
then i wonder, if there is a good news that you badly need to get off your chest, like you're getting married not because you knocked some chick up or you accidentally slept with cameron diaz (or look-alike, who knows...) and she offers you more sex and additional 30 precious ringgit to keep your sexy mouth shut, who is the first person that you would tell? an individual that you would rather share with than anyone else? at first, i thought it would definately be my closest friend to know BUT apparently i have more than 1 really close friends. then the rest of the closest friends will think that they're as not trustworthy as the first person i told. then they will try to make you love them more...very complicated shit, that politics in friends.
in the end, the better choice is to keep everyone in the dark. can you imagine how tragic it is? you can't expose how lucky your ass is and they won't be burned by a fever of enviness/jealousy. meaning you can't fucking show off, what the fuck? that's catastrophic, unbelievable and unacceptable...you need to show off!!!
so what i was thinking of doing was, i'm gonna keep this to myself till i have the right moment to splash on everyone at the same time. in that way, they can't bloody skin me alive because i told someone else first. in that matter, they're gonna probably maim me anyhow because i didn't tell them any earlier.
conclusion: i think more than i should at times
i bought a new light. looks pretty good in my room innit?
5:54 PM
that fucking traitor
liEw, 18 and since 2002, 270lbs, 5ft, brazilian chinese russian icelander hybrid, black eyes, short black hair, racist, antisocial, semi-alcoholic, ignorant, exhales profanity, black-poetry fanatic