(Friday, March 26, 2004)
LiEw, xXx - BIG TIME LOSER + A LITTLE USELESS
didn't add any blog cause i was in Penang. why on earth was i there? well, first of all, i for business and unofficially to see carie too. promise her that i'm going to see her after my 4 year studies and i should. then i was supposed to go anyway so i didn't even hesitate a little.
nothing much changed after i came back from Penang except for my dad's sprained leg got better. my room also looks so much more cleaner.
Me? useless? loser? well, you can never hear that from me right? i didn't get my moment. never had the chance to taste that sweet bite of love and success. i got up this morning and things went well but then eleanor messaged me and told me that it's not time yet. what can i do? basically, nothing! i can't believe i have been constantly reject for the past 22 years of my life...i think i should go and re-evaluate myself. definately i'm the one with the problem here! there was never a rejection that hit me as hard as this one.
i was watching basketball when i called eleanor and when she told me, i could just think of - 'is there something else? is there anything else?' i completely fucked up...i panicked! end of story. that makes me LOSER + USELESS. unavoidable. by the way, if you were wondering, it was a PISTON vs. SPURS game at 9.30 in the morning and SPURS won by an average margin. i managed to finish the game but my head was somewhere else. i could just concentrate on the score...good eh?
well, i'm going back to JB this weekend. need to get everything that i have left behind from the first trip back. it's going to be one tiring trip. look at the bright side, maybe Johore will cheer me up a little. i'm meeting up with zoe tonight to make some damage assesment.
LiEw, xXx
7:17 PM
that fucking traitor
liEw, 18 and since 2002, 270lbs, 5ft, brazilian chinese russian icelander hybrid, black eyes, short black hair, racist, antisocial, semi-alcoholic, ignorant, exhales profanity, black-poetry fanatic
